When We Are Our Own Worst Enemy in Relationships Communicating love and admiration to your partner is a hallmark of courtship, yet as couples settle in to dealing with the stresses of day-to-day life, these comments may start to fade in frequency. By Terry Gaspard Updated: April 15, 2021 Categories: Considering Divorce , Relationships and Dating In many ways, relationships are ruled by the routines partners establish for themselves. These patterns create a dynamic and a good, healthy partnership, or can subvert a couple’s chances at happiness and longevity. When I interview couples in my practice during couples counseling sessions, most of them complain about toxic patterns of bickering and criticizing each other. Unfortunately, these patterns often lead to withdrawal and can threaten the stability of their union. For instance, Carolyn and Todd have bitter disagreements about money that cause chronic tension every weekend when they pay bills. ...