Managing Emotional Hot Buttons Can Help You Reduce Conflict: Here’s How To Do It If you're looking to minimize conflict and move toward compromise, anticipating the issues that will likely trigger you and your spouse / ex will help you de-escalate the situation. By Andra Davidson Updated: April 07, 2023 Categories: Children's and Parenting Issues after Divorce , Co-Parenting after Divorce , Coping with Divorce , Divorce Process , Divorce Recovery Reducing Emotional Hot Buttons What is a Hot Button? According to Merriam-Webster, a Hot Button is an emotional or controversial issue or concern that triggers an immediate, intense reaction. Managing them can have a significant positive impact on the process and outcome of divorce. Blame it on our Lizard Brain Our “Lizard Brain” is the ancient survival mechanism that manages our fight/flight response when our ego, image, or self-esteem is threatened. When this part of the brain kicks in our reflexive response is usually t
Separation occurs when a couple who is married decides that they want to try living apart. Separation is often, but not always, a precursor to divorce. However, separation can also have different meanings in different states. Some states recognize the concept of a "legal separation," and such a formal arrangement can expedite the process of divorce. Others do not recognize a state known as "legal separation" but may still enforce a separation agreement if the couple draws one up.
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Regardless of whether your state requires or recognizes "legal separation" or not, you may need a separation agreement. This becomes important because most states have a waiting period before a married couple may divorce.
In some jurisdictions, a couple has to live apart for around a year before their union can officially end under the law. During this time period, there may be many issues that need to be worked out. For example, issues of custody cannot wait a year, especially if the parents do not agree on who the child should live with or how much time the child should spend with each parent. Furthermore, if one spouse is going to need alimony or spousal support from the other in order to be able to cope financially, he or she may not be able to wait a year to get it.
In order to deal with these issues, many couples draft formal separation agreements when they decide to split up. These agreements can eventually become part of a final divorce settlement. They can also be given legal validity by a family court, if the couple needs for the court to make decisions or enforce support rights or custody rights.