1. Minimize conflict. Conflict in divorce is natural. Unfortunately, this conflict can destabilize a child's environment. Commit to minimizing conflict by agreeing not to fight in front of the children and to resolve issues through mediation instead of litigation. 2. Avoid casting the other parent in negative light. Regardless of your personal feelings about your ex, they remain your child's parent. Be respectful of that relationship by avoiding the urge to demonize the other parent or denigrate the love and affection they have for your child. If you cannot bear to say something nice, at least keep it neutral. 3. Maintain a united front. Rules may differ between households, but maintaining a united front regarding the need to respect the other parent's rules at their home adds some consistency to your co-parenting relationship that is comforting to your child. 4. Give your child space. You're not the only ones going through the divorce. Your child is too. Allow your child space to adjust to their new family situation: space for gathering their thoughts through journaling, therapy, or quiet time, privacy when they're communicating with your ex (no eavesdropping or interrogating the child about phone conversations) and the freedom to experience their own feelings about the situation. 5. Be flexible. The most successful co-parents are flexible co-parents. Life happens - and that may require changes to schedules and plans. Offering good will in the form of flexibility to meet the other parents requests for schedule changes yields good will to your requests. Being respectful of the other parent's time by keeping requests for changes to a minimum further builds good will. |
10 People Who Might Not Like You When You Get Divorced BY JACKIE PILOSSOPH Founder, Divorced Girl Smiling, Former Chicago Tribune Columnist and Features Reporter, Huffington Post Blogger and TV News Reporter Don’t you feel like when you get divorced , there are two camps, and most people feel like they need to be in one? There are a few mutual friends who try to stay neutral, but then, let’s be honest, it’s just awkward. And then, at one point they get together with one of the divorcing spouses and the other spouse becomes angry and thinks their friends took a side. The sad fallout of getting divorced: you will lose some friendships. Certain people who you thought really really liked you just don’t anymore. Typically, these people are the people who were friends with your ex first. It’s strange to think that those who used to treat you with such warmth and kindness might now see you as the enemy, the devil, the bitch, the woman who ruined your ex’s life, and therefor...
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