Does the mom have to actually use the money to support the kids?
After all, the amounts of support ordered pursuant to the chart can seem well in excess of the cost of the
children's needs, and we all can picture situations in which, although the kids aren't starving or
neglected, mom also has a nice new wardrobe courtesy of the support money. In general, courts presume
that the party receiving child support spends the money to support the children, and the burden is on you
to prove otherwise. Because just about everyone paying support complains of paying "too much," judges
have a tendency to take a cynical view of parties coming into court with this kind of an issue.
Further, it is difficult to prove that expenditures do not benefit the children. For instance, if mom buys a
nice new house and uses some support money for it, that would benefit the kids even if it benefits mom
more. As a result, it takes fairly direct evidence to get the party receiving support in trouble for not using
it properly. Some states have statutes that can require the recipient of support to provide the payor with
an accounting of where the support money went; it is difficult, however, to convince a judge to actually
make this happen.
Divorce isn’t just something to survive. It’s something that can set you free. The Neuroscience of New Beginnings Here’s the first revelation that changes everything: Your brain is literally designed to help you rebuild after trauma. Dr. Melanie Greenberg’s research shows that novel experiences trigger cascades of neurotransmitters that create new neural pathways, providing alternate routes around your brain’s pain centers toward possibility. This isn’t just feel-good psychology. It’s hard science. Every new experience you embrace after divorce isn’t just a distraction. It’s a reconstruction. You’re literally rewiring your brain for resilience and joy. Consider my own story. Before my divorce, completing a triathlon seemed laughable. But when my life cracked open and everything familiar fell away, I became curious about what else might be possible. Training didn’t just reshape my body; it transformed my mind. Each early-morning run taught me that discipline isn’t punishment but devotio...
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