Divorce and the Power of Social Media

The reality is that divorce is tough enough without having the immediacy of social media outlets being some kind of a “go-to” for you to purge your frustrations and heartbreak.

By Michelle Moore, PhD Updated: April 05, 2023Categories: Coping with Divorce, Divorce Recovery, Legal Issues

Oftentimes people turn to their social media platforms as a mode of informing and communicating every thought, usually, at the moment the thoughts occur.

This can be a slippery slope when you are in the middle of a divorce.

Your emotions may be heightened and a social media site may feel like the perfect place to throw an icy comment about your soon-to-be ex-spouse. The reality is that divorce is tough enough without having the immediacy of social media outlets being some kind of a “go-to” for you to purge your frustrations and heartbreak.

The consequence is then having to deal with the cost of that outburst, both emotionally and possibly financially.

The Consequences of Posting on Social Media During Divorce

If you post anything that disparages your soon-to-be ex-spouse it could cost you, in more ways than one.

Don’t make yourself vulnerable Any attorney worth his fee will use you or your friends’ words against you when you are in the middle of settling things like spousal support, child support, and custody. Don’t make yourself that vulnerable.

Think before you post! Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, and even dating sites are the latest tools used by many attorneys, especially since so many personal things are shared. Social media is also being used more often now in determining the division of marital assets, child support, alimony, and custody.

If you are asking for spousal support claiming poverty, then refrain from posting pictures of your recent lavish vacation with friends to Hawaii. You can be assured that your “soon-to-be ex-spouse’s” attorney will use those photos against you and cite the opposite of your claimed state of poverty.

And it will affect the amount a judge may decide on. If you have to post, then we suggest posting just a normal day at the beach or any other normal activity you may have done that day. The overarching perception in posting a lavish vacation or expense is that you are hiding assets that the other spouse is unaware of.

Therefore you subject yourself to further scrutiny. In addition any content a friend or relative may post can also make you vulnerable to further examination.

Nothing is off-limits.

What Divorce Attorneys Look for on Social Media

So what is it exactly that a divorce attorney is really looking for in these social media posts, emails, phone records etc.?

They are looking for any evidence that would suggest you are not being truthful. And when they are successful in uncovering any untruths, or misrepresentations this always results in the bottom line of the divorce settlement.

In other words, be careful what you put out in the world via electronic communications. Once something is out there, it is out there forever.

According to the National Law Review, 81% of divorce attorneys discover social media evidence that is worth presenting in court. And 66% of divorce cases use Facebook as one of the primary sources of evidence. Take heed! 1 out of 3 legal actions in divorce cases are caused by social media.

Taking a break from social media at this time isn’t just easier on your emotions; it may even prove to be the wisest thing to do when you are in the thick of negotiating your divorce agreement. As a preemptive action, we suggest that you make an agreement at the time of separation, to include a personal  “Social Media” clause.

This constitutes that both parties agree not to post on Facebook, or tweet on Twitter or any other social media sites. Protect your integrity as well as your wallet.

If you are angry at your soon-to-be ex-spouse for leaving you, go speak to a therapist and process your emotions in a confidential and supportive environment. One that will lead to healing. Seeking help from a licensed psychologist will lead you to a better space to let go of any grief, anger, fear, or sadness.

Being in a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental environment will allow you to process what has happened, and feel heard in a healthy way.