How to stay resilient when life gets tough

By Christina McGhee

I hope that you and yours have managed to stay safe and healthy over the past couple of months. For some of you, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. I thought you should know why.

I don’t know one single person whose life hasn’t been impacted by the multitude of challenges this year has thrown our way.

Anybody else ready to be done with 2020?

I know I am.

2020 hasn’t been a banner year for the McGhee household, but probably not for the reasons you’d expect.

Since January hit, we’ve had two deaths in the family.

My father was hospitalized for the second time in three months, the first time involved open-heart surgery.

One of my children was in a serious car accident and ended up in the Emergency Room, (thankfully she only sustained minor injuries.)

My husband was quarantined twice due to possible COVID exposure. Days after being released from quarantine, he managed to injure his foot and spent two more weeks on crutches.

Our empty nest became not so empty with children cycling in and out of our home, seeking refuge from bad relationships, lost jobs, and struggles with addiction.

And then we lost Frankie, who was my youngest daughter’s forever friend, confidante, bucket-list buddy and partner in crime. For the better part of seven years, wherever you found one, the other was not far behind. Throughout their friendship, Frankie not only became a permanent fixture in our home but also in our hearts.

I can’t even begin to describe how devastating her death has been for our daughter and our family.

Tough times don’t happen to some of us, they happen to all of us.

AND in the backdrop of our family struggles, a series of unprecedented situations have put an end to life as we have known it.

Not just for some of us, but for all of us.

Our day-to-day lives have been upended by a pandemic of epic proportions, economic instability, social inequity, rampant racism, polarized ideologies, and political chaos.

In the midst of trying to get a handle on this unique and troubling time, there are lots of us who are grappling with challenges stacked on top of challenges.

Just like me, you too might be feeling like as soon as you put out one fire, another one pops up to take its place.

Maybe you just landed the job of your dreams, and now you’re wondering if you’re even going to have a job after the dust settles.

In addition to locking down your household, you might have become quarantine captain for aging parents or your college student who had to transition to online classes.

You may have just gotten into a rhythm of transitioning between homes. Now you’re dealing with a coparent who is refusing to be flexible or pay attention to social distancing guidelines.

Perhaps during the pandemic, you’ve had to put your plans to divorce on hold and figure out how to coexist while keeping the tension and conflict in check.

As you deal with the pressures of working from home, you’ve also had to take on the role of teacher and full-time single parent.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg for most of us.