How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce!

A player from a major league baseball team called my office and scheduled a phone consultation.

His wife seemed to have bipolar disorder and/or depression.

He had tried to cope with it for many years, especially as he was on the road a lot, but he felt it was taking a toll on their children who were left to cope with her frequent drinking and temper tantrums.

He knew he wanted a divorce, but he didn't know how to tell her.

He was afraid she would get hysterical and be thoroughly unreasonable. He did not want to have to call the police under any circumstances.

During our consultation I suggested that he invite her to go to some therapy sessions with him to help "them" get along better. By verbally taking responsibility for their difficulties, he was able to convince her to see a therapist I recommended who often deals with couples where one of them does not want a divorce.

After several sessions with the doctor, he was able to talk to his wife about divorce and convince her he would take good care of her and their children, which was exactly the reassurance she needed. The doctor also recommended medication for the wife, which would help her through the difficult process.

Although we went back and forth about litigation or mediation, since I can do both, we discussed the pros and cons and the husband decided to introduce mediation to his wife. Instead of going to court, and fighting, they both decided to try mediation, a peaceful and non-adversarial system I have devised with my medical background, using a knowledge of their personalities and character traits to help them come to an agreement. By engaging in this private process, the couple was able to keep their separation out of the press, maintain their dignity and arrived at a fair settlement.