3 Keys to Success Before Dating After Divorce

It can be hard to imagine going on a date, especially after a long-term marriage. Make your first move only when you are ready.

By Carla Hugo Updated: March 12, 2021Categories: Divorce Recovery, Relationships and Dating

Each divorce is unique. You may have precipitated your divorce, or you may have clung to your marriage. Many times, it’s a bit of both. In either case, you ended up single. The reality of being single can be difficult to accept and adjust to. As with any loss, the loss of your marriage needs to be mourned. While your memories stay intact, your future plans with your spouse are now disintegrated.  That makes it a great time to re-imagine and re-build your future. You may be considering dating after divorce. Here are some things to keep in mind.

3 Keys to Implement Before You Start Dating After Divorce

Take Time to Identify Your Unrealized Dreams 

When you look back at your marriage and the plans that will not come to fruition with your spouse, how can you re-envision them? What are the dreams that you wanted to experience when married? What are the dreams that you want to experience now that you are single? The nature of divorce is that it offers you freedom.

Take some notes in a journal or device. Do you have a travel destination in mind? Have you wanted to learn to cook? Whatever dream you once had you can still achieve.

Know what you want before you begin dating after divorce. The clarity you have on your personal vision will keep you from falling for a person who is not supportive or in alignment with your dreams.

Clean Up Your Act

It’s a great time to detoxify from habits that do not make you feel your best. Before you can find your best match, you need to be your best. Look at what you eat, what you drink, how well you sleep. and your exercise routine. These physical acts contribute greatly to your emotional well-being as well as your physical energy and wellness. Consider other habits that may cause you to be sedentary or drain you of positive energy. These can include television, video games, and social media. What steps, if any, do you currently take to clear your mind?

Use your journal or device and identify toxic, addictive food and drinks that you want to eliminate from your diet. Keep a sleep log and take note of what circumstances create your best sleep. Notice the habits that cause you to ruminate on thoughts that make you feel sad or fearful. Eliminate these habits. This process of detoxifying your life will make you feel vibrant and love yourself more.  Your physical and emotional health will improve and you will have enhanced energy. When you start to date, you want to be with people who support your best self.

Be Authentically You

When you set out on a date it is best to be your authentic self. Rather than put on a façade of who you could be or who you think the date wants you to be, be true to yourself. In that truth, you will attract a more likely match. Once you have implemented keys one and two you have made huge progress toward being your individual and unique self. You are clear on your dreams and have cleared out activities, food, and substances that are detrimental to your health. It is a re-birthing of sorts.

Now it is time to allow yourself to shine. Express yourself in a way that is true to your core values. Resist the urge to fall in line with what those around you are thinking or promoting. Be true to your dreams, not drama. Stay focused on detoxifying on a continual basis and steer clear of toxic indulgences and situations.

When you are true to yourself, you are authentic. Contrary to popular belief, being true to yourself does not make you insensitive to others or selfish. In fact, when you operate from your authentic self, you have more to offer others! When you are no longer hiding behind the façade of what others expect of you, your own uniqueness will shine. People will be drawn to you for what you have to offer them.

Divorce is devastating and marks the end of an era in your life. Take time to be present with what is going on currently and unhook from past drama. Get clear on your dreams. Let go of foods and habits that make you feel sick and sad. Reveal your true self and share your vibrancy with those in your world.

Dating after divorce can be hard, but with these three key measures under your belt, you are now ready to step into the dating pool with confidence. When you meet a date, you know you can rely on your instincts and ability to be your best!